Sunday, November 25, 2012

It still haunts me :(

It's been years and still the people who kept me alive torture me on the phone. I stopped taking their calls now but it still bothers me alot that those people abused me for almost 31year nonstop.

I am not sure they are my biological parents based on the way they treated me. They molested me, physically abused me, mentally literally tortured me and enjoyed it. Whenever I use to cry they had fun...What type of mentality is that?

I was about 7 when one of my friend introduced me to the game of cricket. I liked it and enjoyed playing it. I started collecting score sheets, photos, autographs, articles about the game and the male who raised me started burning / selling my collection and accused me of being a prostitute. Mind well my age.  Mentally disturbed creature like this couple should not be allowed near kids.

We had neighbors in Girgaon who had little kids say about 2-3 yrs old and the woman use to pinch them very hard till they cry...she enjoyed it...use to giggle.

Oh my god the sex!! No shame at all that the kids are slipping beside them or anything... honestly it NEVER stopped. I used to feel confused that how is it possible for them to be so sexual and not care about anything else in the life. These people barely traveled or ate out or enjoyed life beside sex.


I was 5 or 6 may be before they moved to Mumbai and left me with grandparents, uncle and other people in village. Why would anybody like to take care of someone else's kid? I wanted to be with my "mom and dad" and I use to cry alot but instead of taking me with them they use to pay me. Yes gave me money.

How long would anyone take someone else's kid right ? so they HAD TO bring me to Mumbai. Right after that they applied to some boarding school in Lonavla but couldn't afford the monthly 500 rupees fees and then the horror truly began...the beating, name calling, why don't you die? Jump under the train ...were actual words used against me when I was barely 8 years old. I was devastated and left the house for the first time at the age 8...again at 11, this time I took all my clothes and what not and went to stay with a girl from my class who lived in a red light area called Kamathipura.




Monday, November 19, 2012

Disturbed ?

One of my friend more of a web friend committed suicide a couple of days back. He was just 26 yrs old. Can't say I didn't didn't see it coming though...

I had been reading his articles and responses to others. He was into U.G. Krishnamurthi and Osho etc things I don't get. He posted some videos too which I found very inconclusive to any subject. It seems that he wanted to know what the life is all about...what is the purpose of life.. sadly he ended his without finding it out. :(

I am not very emotional person anymore but this shocked me. I contacted him and advised him to get a friend or a girlfriend to talk with...being with people who likes to changes the attitude that's for sure. May be he just didn't want that.

The thing is a lot of people who are friends or acquainted with him spoke with him about his confusion / questions /thinking but I guess his time was up.  RIP Yashwant.